The sunset, in its glory
Is forever waiting for morning
But the night, cloaked in darkest black
Is the sunset's death mourning.
I am the silence of stalking cats' feet
Perfection of a drum's steady beat
I am the bird about to take flight
I am the thief in the night.
I am the speed of a hummingbird's wings
Balancing, carefully taking your things
I am the wonder, the terror, the might
I am the thief in the night.
I perform my dance to Robin Hood's score
Take from the rich, give to the poor
I am always in the right
I am the thief in the night.
For gold I have longings
So hide your belongings
And hold your valuables tight
I am the thief in the night.
Scorpio died again today
I killed her with my carelessness
Scorpio died again today
I'm out of tears to cry
I'm nothing but a Shadow
I'm hiding from the light of day
I'm nothing but a killer
Scorpio died again today
minutes like a heartbeat slip backwards off my palm
i am forever repeating
breathe in, out. wait: no,
there is no air within this painted dark
no movement in false sculpted fists too heavy with rage
my wooden lungs deny the rot beneath the golden age
i.
I lack the feeling of touch.
I grasp at any warmth
Of words, of eyes
I am a thief of kind words not meant for me.
ii.
The cherry tree bloomed while I wasn't looking.
I retreat into wires and lies
My veins carry dust and my soul is heavy
The petals are so much of my past.
I break promises to myself.
But I also break silences
And lost causes meant to be found
I have learned that I breathe the power to heal.
Friends can come and go and return.
I carry their laughs with me—
Stories last forever, right?
Words can outlive bone and page and stone.
tread lightly, false traveler
god among men
know every secret
slip in as a friend
the silence of starlight
the glint of the blade
a rustling of feathers
a sudden hand stayed
a shouting, a calling
a life-line snapped short
no exit to run to
no chance to abort
then shackled and tangled
the ends and the cause—
tread lightly, false traveler
man among gods
I knew a girl with suns for eyes who couldn't see the light they gave. When she looked at me I could see fires tracing along her arms... I was always drawn to flames, my myth-muddled moth-mind seeking some Promethean immortality in the destruction. Her flickering called to me and jumped and spun around around around until I stepped closer, terrified of snuffing out the bright.
I knew a girl with moon-craters for skin who didn't know another way to defend against the meteors some people can be. Her shell was hard and cracked, with valleys and mountains tensing at the thought of life suffocating against her surface. Water that once filled her oceans left behind silvery chalk-dust, and I heard whispers of werewolves and riptides in her wake.
I wanted to know what it was like to be a legend so I pressed stars into my skin, but they slipped through and burned me from inside out. Sometimes you can see them under my fingernails, twinkling in my shoulders like there's no tomorrow. Sometimes I want to collapse into spare parts, collecting my own stardust for scrap metal. How am I supposed to sleep with this light inside my skin?
everyone tells me it's okay if i want to leave
but the thought of leaving stops my breath
i don't want to leave i don't know how to leave
i'm still reeling from the ivy waving goodbye
xxii.
better, easier, to have them slip sideways
no one really minds where they fall. shake the dice,
watch them slip from your hand and tumble clatter to the ground
they aren't snake eyes.
xviii.
she haunts me. i'm still not convinced that she really existed
i thought for a time that i dreamed a whole year
and maybe i imagined life as well as death.
you can't be a ghost if you're alive, scorpio.
leave me or stay, but not both.
ix.
shatter the windows. scream
your lungs cry your eyes.
they don't stop at the closed door.
they don't stop when you run.
it's becoming harder to say you're okay.
you will be. but not now.
iii.
the leaves were what drew me there and they're what i miss.
faces and names leave me only with guilt and sour on my tongue.
the ivy floated up the building.
the building was undeserved of the beauty green.
iv.
my face won't move.
my eyes won't wet.
i see their tears and feel guilty.
i should be crying
my heart is in pain too.
i should be crying
i.
i am crying.
i can't cry for goodbyes but i can cry for the loss of them
i can't see but i still strain to turn around for one last glimpse
the leaves are flickering, waving.
i am crying not for pain but for lack of it.
xiv.
she kissed me.
vi.
i'm abstracting names until i forget where i started
people are people are people and names don't matter
faces don't matter voices don't
except they do. no matter how far i run someone's eyes stare back at me
i am writing myself and i am writing you
i am writing a question and i don't expect the answer
i shroud myself in code until i forget how to be visible
i forget to exist
xv.
we don't mirror each other.
i step forward and she steps back
i turn to catch a glimpse of her and she's gone
somewhere in the maze of paper
somewhere past the windows lying open
i stare down at my ink-drowned past and i wake
ii.
i have been music before.
i named myself as such before the stone and the wind.
the flames do not burn me
i am a song and i am running
the ghosts demand i see this through
i am the one who sees the dead, i called the drowned girl back to life.
i can call you back, too.
vii.
i'm watching you fall. it takes months to reconcile myself and reality.
i'm watching you fall
i pushed you
or i didn't. it's not clear anymore which of me is real.
x.
i flee. my mind is gone and all i know how to do is run.
i was tricked.
i fell,
v.
my feet are firmly on the ground.
she tells me she's sorry and is gone.
i too disappear, through doorways and stairs and dreams.
thursdays are bad luck
i don't trust them. there are too many surprises
xvi.
so i lost. that much is clear.
i gather myself and breathe in
i assemble the players and ready my speech
if i am to fall i will make it grand
nobody wants to be forgotten
i have forgotten how to speak.
xi.
you were not immortal. you were not all powerful
you were not all patient but you were close
the pieces fell together and i unlocked the doors.
there will be no more stalling. worlds are waiting to be born
and i am not the one to bear them.
xii.
once i caused the end of the world.
it was my time to go
i was spiraling out of myself and shouting to voids and clouds and skyscrapers
i was hidden somewhere between the musician and the genius,
the artist and the evil, the cursing and the cursed.
somewhere, the thief, the owl, and the soldier are laughing.
xiii.
i am cursed with the desire for all sides laid out before me
i befriended the enemy for a full picture
i trade information. stories, not secrets
but it's still a breath of trust, isn't it?
xx.
i've given up twice now only to be called back.
they say the third time's the charm,
but i'm too far in to say goodbye again
and giving up once more means giving up everything
and yet my eyelids wish for nothing more than that
xvii.
i can't sleep. i miss you
memories fragment in my mind and i don't know
if they're real or dreams or something else.
your face is close to mine.
you leave me and you don't turn around.
you kiss me.
nothing makes sense.
xix.
i don't understand how to cope with life.
i get frustrated. the simplest exchange leaves me curled
i make myself small and hide.
if i could force myself to be okay, i would,
xxii.
i am incapable of poetry and simple shifting sounds
i cannot form prose either
there is nothing in between, and yet here i am
xxi.
i don't think that i believe in love.
viii.
i told you i was sorry, i was so incredibly sorry
and you asked me: "what for?"